Sunday, March 2, 2003

On the seventh day

By Marianne Meed Ward

At my house, rest is a four-letter word. Sometimes shouted (as in "Give it a rest, willya? It's only mixed vegetables."). Sometimes threatened ("Does someone need to have a little rest in her room?"). Sometimes cajoling ("Now Pumpkin, where's the rest of mommy's lipstick?"). Sometimes incredulous ("You're ... you're taking a rest!?! Now?!?"). Sometimes bartered ("I'll trade you three hours next Monday night for two this Saturday afternoon" -- in the parental economy, weekend hours off are always worth more).

But always, and perpetually, rest is begged for, pleeeeeaded for, and sought after like the Messiah on Easter. As in, "If I don't get five minutes of sit-down time right now no one's getting laundry for a week!" -- which at my house would result in potential climate change for the entire GTA. Forget Kyoto. The gas emissions from the five of us over seven days of piled-up socks and barfy clothes would rival Hamilton Harbour for output. But you can thank me for the relatively warmer weather we're having.

As it is with the Messiah, however, rest proves elusive. I'm still waiting. Which kind of bugs me, because as a Christian I feel entitled to some rest. The Bible says so. First God modelled rest. Genesis says God worked for six days, and rested on the seventh. God also commanded rest in Exodus 31:15. The penalty for working on the Sabbath was not, as you might expect, standing in line at Home Depot. But death.

GET 24 HOURS OFF

That was news to me when I read it in my women's Bible study group recently. Not the death part, the "rest" part. I had always construed the Sabbath to be exclusively about worship -- dusk-'til-dawn Bible study and quietly moping about with our solemn faces -- and absolutely no rock 'n' roll. That doesn't promote rest but resentment.

Of course the Sabbath does contain worship (who wouldn't want to thank a deity who gave 24 hours off after 144?) But it's mostly about rest.

And that's how the Jewish community celebrates Shabbat. It's a 25-hour period of rest from sundown on Friday to sundown on Saturday, with a Shabbat service Friday night that includes blessings, meditations and prayers -- even one for peace. How timely. To encourage people to rediscover the joys of Shabbat, the National Jewish Outreach Program in the U.S. is organizing the seventh annual Shabbat Across America/Canada Friday, March 7.

Hundreds of venues are participating, including eight in the GTA. (For a complete list visit www.njop.org.)

'REJUVENATING'

The NJOP describes the event as an opportunity to "eat, drink, relax, dance, enjoy, debate, and celebrate." Now that's more like it. Dancing on a Sabbath? Only dancing we ever did was tapdancing -- to explain why we were doing something forbidden. But Shabbat isn't all fun and games. In the Talmudic tradition, if all Jews observed the Sabbath just two times in a row, the messiah would come. Now there's an incentive. But I'd do it for the rest.

"It is rejuvenating," says Lisa Isen Baumal, director of the Jewish student centre at U of T, which is participating next weekend. "It's a time to regroup for the whole week. If you have a day of rest, it builds momentum."

And here I thought it just builds my workload for Monday morning, and it takes all week to catch up. I'm at home all day with my kids, but I can go days without playing with them because I'm working -- cleaning, cooking, taking the VCR for repair because my son put 15 crayons, a plastic sunglass lens, a used fabric softener sheet, and a half-eaten lollypop where a tape should go.

When I complain about lack of rest, some people suggest I'm doing too much. So I should, what, give up one of my kids? My part-time work? My hobbies? My friends? And if I then complain of depression, people would tell me to take up these things again to achieve "balance."

I don't think the problem is that we're all doing too much -- we should lead rich and varied lives. Maybe the problem is our culture of instant gratification. We don't know how to wait. As much as I want rest, the thought of doing nothing is enough to make me reach for the vacuum cleaner. Housekeeping has its rewards, even if they only last seven minutes.

But the thing about work is it never goes away. But relationships, and personal spirituality do, if not tended. So pick a day. Any day. And give yourself a break. The results may pleasantly surprise you.